Old-fashioned dungeon crawl, anyone? (OPEN)

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tumblingdice
Posts: 231
Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:26 pm
Location: Southern NH

Re: Old-fashioned dungeon crawl, anyone?

Post by tumblingdice »

How about this?

Elder Dwellers of the Forbidden B/X Basement
Eagerly exploring the esoteric Lands and Environs of the D&D Wilderness. When we have time.

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badams30
Posts: 569
Joined: Mon May 07, 2018 6:50 pm

Re: Old-fashioned dungeon crawl, anyone?

Post by badams30 »

tumblingdice wrote:
Thu Jun 03, 2021 5:35 pm
How about this?

Elder Dwellers of the Forbidden B/X Basement
Eagerly exploring the esoteric Lands and Environs of the D&D Wilderness. When we have time.
GOLD.

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tumblingdice
Posts: 231
Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:26 pm
Location: Southern NH

Re: Old-fashioned dungeon crawl, anyone?

Post by tumblingdice »

The English major in me is starting to bristle at the amount of adjectives and adverbs piling up here. Will shorten to:

Dwellers of the Forbidden B/X Basement
Exploring the esoteric Lands and Environs of the D&D Wilderness. When we have time.

I have to interview an applicant via Zoom for a part-time position here at the library, so I need to go act like an (ostensibly) responsible adult for the rest of the day. I'll let the discussion continue while I'm away, and then make an executive decision tonight.

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greyarea
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Re: Old-fashioned dungeon crawl, anyone?

Post by greyarea »

We have a winner!

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connivingsumo
Posts: 559
Joined: Sun Jul 29, 2018 10:55 pm

Re: Old-fashioned dungeon crawl, anyone?

Post by connivingsumo »

greyarea wrote:
Thu Jun 03, 2021 5:50 pm
We have a winner!
Chicken Dinner! :mrgreen:

*kinda butt-hurt my 'Esoteric' didn't make the cut! :lol:

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mythictom
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Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2019 8:13 pm
Location: Pennsylvania, USA

Re: Old-fashioned dungeon crawl, anyone?

Post by mythictom »

connivingsumo wrote:
Thu Jun 03, 2021 7:56 pm
greyarea wrote:
Thu Jun 03, 2021 5:50 pm
We have a winner!
Chicken Dinner! :mrgreen:

*kinda butt-hurt my 'Esoteric' didn't make the cut! :lol:
Too highbrow! :ugeek:

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tumblingdice
Posts: 231
Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:26 pm
Location: Southern NH

Re: Old-fashioned dungeon crawl, anyone?

Post by tumblingdice »

connivingsumo wrote:
Thu Jun 03, 2021 7:56 pm
greyarea wrote:
Thu Jun 03, 2021 5:50 pm
We have a winner!
Chicken Dinner! :mrgreen:

*kinda butt-hurt my 'Esoteric' didn't make the cut! :lol:
Look at the second line.

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greyarea
Posts: 864
Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2016 1:17 am

Re: Old-fashioned dungeon crawl, anyone?

Post by greyarea »

tumblingdice wrote:
Thu Jun 03, 2021 5:47 pm
The English major in me is starting to bristle at the amount of adjectives and adverbs piling up here.
Needs passive voice.

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tumblingdice
Posts: 231
Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:26 pm
Location: Southern NH

Re: Old-fashioned dungeon crawl, anyone?

Post by tumblingdice »

The passive voice is needed? Is that what was said by you?

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greyarea
Posts: 864
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Re: Old-fashioned dungeon crawl, anyone?

Post by greyarea »

Overbearlingly judgmental English majors are driven exceedingly crazy by excessive use of unnecessary adverbs, redundant and surplus adjectives, and the passive voice.

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