New Quickstart

Homebrew settings, house rules, adventures, maps, art

Re: New Quickstart

Postby foxroe » Thu Dec 29, 2016 3:16 am

Echoing my post in the Wizard's Scroll thread here:

Do you need any other dedicated help with this? I'm great at proof-reading and making annoying suggestions about layout. ;)
- Fox
User avatar
foxroe
 
Posts: 83
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2016 4:08 am
Location: Portlandia

Re: New Quickstart

Postby The Wanderer » Thu Dec 29, 2016 4:47 am

Yes, definitely Foxroe. This needs to be as clear as possible since it's for beginners. So when we get closer to final stages, I'll post a more complete document for proof reading. Then I'll do layout and post that as well.

Right now, price is a factor. I want it to be as inexpensive as possible. Which means less pages, less cost, but also Lulu has a page minimum; 32 pages. So that is what I'm shooting for in the layout. Which could mean double column, but I will try single column first, since that will math with the rule book.

But if you have any suggestions for layout before we get to that point, I'd like to read it.
White Box: Fantastic Medieval Adventure Game
http://whiteboxgame.blogspot.com/
User avatar
The Wanderer
 
Posts: 185
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 6:24 pm
Location: North of the Emerald City

Re: New Quickstart

Postby The Wanderer » Thu Dec 29, 2016 6:44 pm

Uploaded a draft of the Adventure portion of the quick start.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B-5vOLLXjraJWlc3T0JNeHNVVUE
White Box: Fantastic Medieval Adventure Game
http://whiteboxgame.blogspot.com/
User avatar
The Wanderer
 
Posts: 185
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 6:24 pm
Location: North of the Emerald City

Re: New Quickstart

Postby The Wanderer » Thu Dec 29, 2016 8:43 pm

Back cover ad copy added to the Drive. Will be formatted with the White Box fonts when complete.
White Box: Fantastic Medieval Adventure Game
http://whiteboxgame.blogspot.com/
User avatar
The Wanderer
 
Posts: 185
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 6:24 pm
Location: North of the Emerald City

Re: New Quickstart

Postby foxroe » Wed Jan 04, 2017 11:41 am

Sample adventure looks great; it actually reminds me of my very first D&D adventure (minus the stirges... yuck)! I especially like all of the "coaching" text blocks - helpful and to the point.

Some suggested changes:

HD for goblins is listed as <1, but 1/2 for giant rats...

Missing movement rates in most of the stat blocks

Room #4: Recommend "2 in 6" for the chance to detect the string, in keeping with secret doors

Room #5: Title not center justified... but I assume that'll be caught in layout.

Room #10: Says see description of secret doors in room #4; should be room #2

Room #11: If you're looking to shave text for space savings, the first sentence of the second paragraph can be deleted (it's already established that the statues are in niches, and the next paragraph describes their garb)

Room #11: Helmet room is #4 and shield room is #5.

Room #12: The sentence about how the rats behave is confusing. Maybe something like "The rats are cautious at first and flee from any who enter the room, but if the party remains in the room for more than a round (1 minute), the rats will burst forth from the tunnels and attack to protect their food supply." Unless of course, it was meant that room #13 (not #12) is the food supply...

Room #12: In the "Something to think about" text box, it is suggested to roll 1d6 for rat HP; should be 1d3 (or 1d6 divided by 2)

Room #14: Reference to rat room should be #12, not #11

Room #15: Is there anything in the WB rules that makes ability checks "official"? If not, I would point out that this is an optional rule (have characters make a saving throw in the windy room instead). Might also want to mention if the wind effect goes away or not if/when someone reaches the treasure.

Room #18: Fourth sentence - delete the word "from". Also, maybe mention the strength bonus for opening the door.

Room #18: Text box - First sentence, change "roll" to "use"

Room #19: Change "alter" to "altar" in first sentence. Also, first sentence of second paragraph, change "behind" to "beyond" - maybe add a pit symbol to the map

Room #19: Chest #2 - the wererat is in room #14, not #13

Room #19: Cleric has keys to #17 and #18... there are no locked doors in #17, maybe supposed to be #20?

Room #20: Description says 4 weak human fighters, but there are only stats for two

Room #21: Is the lower lip of the mouth actually a cup, or was it meant that it "forms a cup"? Also, first paragraph, fourth sentence - should be a "to" between "trying" and "break".

"If you want to play again" section: Second sentence references Quick Start twice... kind of confusing. Also, the "swordsandwizardry.com" website does not exist - point them here! ;)
- Fox
User avatar
foxroe
 
Posts: 83
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2016 4:08 am
Location: Portlandia

Re: New Quickstart

Postby The Wanderer » Wed Jan 04, 2017 6:37 pm

Great stuff Foxroe! Thank you.

I'll be looking to type up an updated and combined version soon. I got a little burnt out/frustrated working on the art direction for the project. So I'm going to take a short break and come back to it and hopefully I'll be able to make some better decisions regarding it. ha ha :)
White Box: Fantastic Medieval Adventure Game
http://whiteboxgame.blogspot.com/
User avatar
The Wanderer
 
Posts: 185
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 6:24 pm
Location: North of the Emerald City

Re: New Quickstart

Postby The Wanderer » Thu Jan 05, 2017 6:49 pm

So much for breaks,

I updated the Adventure file with all of Foxroe's suggestions and couple others of my own.

I also added the first draft of the Referee section. Not a whole lot was changed, just changed the wording here and there.

At this point, I think the drafts are done. I'll leave them up until Friday January 13th (Friday the 13th seems like a good date to "kill" the drafts) for people to read and make suggestions/changes.

After that, I'll take them down and work on the final revision, putting it all together. And then I'll post it for reading/review to catch typos and stuff like that. I plan to have all that done by January 27th. After which it will go into final layout and hopefully be released in early February.

We are almost to the finish line folks!
White Box: Fantastic Medieval Adventure Game
http://whiteboxgame.blogspot.com/
User avatar
The Wanderer
 
Posts: 185
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 6:24 pm
Location: North of the Emerald City

Re: New Quickstart

Postby The Wanderer » Sat Jan 07, 2017 12:09 am

Oh and I should mention, I went back to Michael Clarke for art. I want this to reach out to new non-gamers so I think his art style and the art direction we have planned will do it. So I'm spending some money on this one. As they say; "go big or go home" or as I prefer "reach for the stars".
White Box: Fantastic Medieval Adventure Game
http://whiteboxgame.blogspot.com/
User avatar
The Wanderer
 
Posts: 185
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 6:24 pm
Location: North of the Emerald City

Re: New Quickstart

Postby The Wanderer » Mon Jan 09, 2017 5:03 pm

I'm not sure if we discussed this before or not.

The Quickstart only has ascending AC, but with how the license works now, we can't claim compatibility with S&W if there is no descending AC. So should we add it in? Thoughts...
White Box: Fantastic Medieval Adventure Game
http://whiteboxgame.blogspot.com/
User avatar
The Wanderer
 
Posts: 185
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 6:24 pm
Location: North of the Emerald City

Re: New Quickstart

Postby merias » Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:18 pm

The Wanderer wrote:I'm not sure if we discussed this before or not.

The Quickstart only has ascending AC, but with how the license works now, we can't claim compatibility with S&W if there is no descending AC. So should we add it in? Thoughts...


I would say yes, it is a good idea.
User avatar
merias
Site Admin
 
Posts: 729
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2016 2:37 am
Location: Southern Quebec

PreviousNext

Return to Workshop

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron